Fallen Angel

Fallen Angel

ROCFanKat's take

Michael and Eli are spoilsports. What we really wanted was to see Xena and Gabrielle in Hell together, just for a little while, just for fun. If Xena had only hit Michael where it counted most, and if Eli had spun out the angst thing a little longer, X&G might have stayed dead long enough for the following to have happened.

G: So this is Hell. So this is where you take me, out of all the places there are.

X: You don't like it?

G: I didn't say that.

X: You will, though. <Sighs> Never mind. What can I do for you? Are you hungry? Want some grapes?

G: Nice try, Xena.

X: <Leers evilly and flicks her tongue>

G: Stop doing that.

X: Why? It's fun.

G: It's green. Your tongue, I mean. What on earth have you been doing?

X: You'll find out. <Leers at her again> There's fun to be had down here, Gabrielle.

G: We couldn't have had the fun in Athens instead? Or Paris? I hear that town's going to be something in a few centuries.

X: This is Hell, sweetness. They'll all turn up here sooner or later.

G: Well, I hope some of them are interior decorators. Hell is a mess.

X <puzzled>: What's wrong with it?

G: It needs paint. Maybe a few throw rugs. And the smell! It could take eternity just to hose the place out.

X: We have eternity. Now, how about those grapes?

G: No.

X: Oh, come on, one little grape. It won't hurt...long. And I bet you'll look really cute in horns.

G: That's another thing, Xena. The horns. They don't really work for you. And if you can't carry them off, Zeus knows I can't.

X: We don't do Zeus down here. Besides, you're a knockout, cookie. You'd look like a million dinars in antlers and deer blood. <Runs her eyes over G's breastplate again and licks her lips> Or fur. How about a nice fashionable beaver?

G: I hate to say this, honey, but I think you may be getting a little...well, oversexed.

X: You know you love me.

G: Don't change the subject. I still have some issues with the green-tongue thing. How do I know what you were doing while I was in Heaven?

X: They were just boys, Gabrielle.

G <aghast>: Boys?!? Don't you dare tell me you're zigzagging again.

X: I'm not zigzagging. I just needed relief. You weren't around. What was I supposed to do?

G: <Glares meaningfully>

X: That? I gave that up after you and I got together. A person could go blind, you know.

G: Keep it up, Warrior Princess, and you could be sharpening your own sword for the rest of eternity. If you catch my drift. How do I know you didn't get pregnant? Just to spite me?

X: Get real, Gabrielle. I've been a love-free zone for...<Frowns> Hey, what time is it, anyway?

G: That does it. <Grabs a fistful of grapes> Don't think I'm not going to write about this.

X <shrugs>: You came to the right place, then. Here--have a glass of wine. You're going to choke on those.

G: Maybe I'll try out that new theory of mine. Maybe a scroll should be sung rather than spoken.

X: You can't sing, remember?

G: Exactly the point. If you're pregnant, you're going to be realllllly sorry. <Munches grapes thoughtfully for a minute> I've got it! How about this?

G: Problem?

X: Never do that again. You could be punished.

G <Leers at X, flicking her tongue> I might like it.

X: You think?

G: Let's find out.

X: Right now?

G: Right now. Or else I'll write the next verse.

X: You are evil.

G: Damn straight. Now let's see some skills, you devil.

///

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