Paradise Found
LaLa's take
E-Mail: bonmot@ix.netcom.com
SCENES
FROM THE CUTTING-ROOM FLOOR
Xena is so tense these days! Gabrielle tries to find a way to help Xena unwind…
G: Xena, we have got to find a way for you to relax.
X: <Mutters under her breath> I can think of one way to relax.
G: How about a game?
X: Like strip poker?
G: No--something like charades.
X: I hate that game.
G: You never gave it a chance.
X: I did too. I did my impersonation of Zeus, disguised as a swan...
G: Having his way with a maiden? Xena, charades is not supposed to be acted out. I mean, you act it out, but you don't act it out.
X: I didn't hear you complaining.
G: I...well, um, maybe not games...how about a bath?
X: Now you're talking.
G: Yeah, a nice, hot, soothing bath... <Closes her eyes>
X: ...a quiet room...
G: ...a tub of hot water...
X: ...a few candles...
G: ...some flowers...
X: ...scented oil...
G: ...a big fluffy sponge...
X: ...a lost bar of soap...
G: <Snaps out of reverie> A lost bar of soap?
X: <Does a saucy imitation of Gabrielle> Why, Xena, I just don't know where that bar of soap could have gone. Wait--I think I may be sitting on it. Would you mind finding it, you big, bad, wet, warrior...
G: <Blushes> I, uh, I...what was I talking about? Oh! How about massage?
X: Well, now that you mention it, I do have this one tiny spot in particular.
G: Lemme guess--that same spot that always needs my attention?
X: Can I help it if I carry all my tension there?
G: <Gives a dismissive wave> How about the poses Aidan's teaching me?
X: You mean yoga?
G: Yes, yoga. When I do it, I feel so good afterwards. C'mon. <Sits on the floor and places one foot behind her head>
X: No, thanks.
G: If you would just try some of the positions, Xena. <Puts her other foot behind her head> It's very relaxing.
X: Tying myself into a knot? <Shakes head and turns away>
G: <Grunts and struggles as she tries to extricate herself> Uh, Xena?
X: <Lost in thought> Forget games, baths, and massages. You really want to "relax" me? Gimme some down-'n-dirty, no-clothes, no-holds-barred, sweaty s...
G: Xena! <Continues to struggle>
X: Hmm? <Turns and notices Gabrielle's compromised position>
G: Xena, I'm stuck.
X: You know, this yoga thing could be relaxing after all.
G: Huh? Would you untangle me?
X: <Purrs> Sure, Gabrielle. <Slinks closer; teasingly strokes the back of Gabrielle's thigh with her hand>
G: <Arches an eyebrow> You call this untangling?
X: I call it Kama Sutra, actually.