Takes
One to Know One
LaLa's take
E-Mail: bonmot@ix.netcom.com
SCENES FROM THE CUTTING-ROOM FLOOR
The party is over. Everyone else has gone to bed except for Xena and Gabrielle. They sit at a table drinking wine as the embers glow in the fireplace.
G: That was some party.
X: Yes, it was.
G: I've never seen you do that cherry-stem trick before.
X: Something I picked up in the old days.
G: Autolycus sure seemed to like it. (Takes a sip of wine) So...
X: So...?
G: Xena, do you know what I wished for when I blew out the candles on my cake?
X: Um, more cake?
G: No.
X: To get rid of Joxer?
G: No, but if you do, I won't mind.
X: Bruised fruit? Perhaps a pear?
G: No, Xena, that's what your mother wants.
X: Hmmm...your old Amazon outfit and staff?
G: I'm not that kind of girl anymore.
X: (Mutters) Pity. (Louder) What did you wish for, Gabrielle?
G: (Leans closer and conspiratorially whispers) A spanking.
X: Excuse me?
G: I said I want a spanking.
X: Have you been bad?
G: No! I mean, I want a birthday spanking.
X: Oh, really. (Leans back and ponders this exciting turn of events, while keeping a poker face) Gabrielle, I don't think I've ever heard of birthday spankings.
G: (Incredulous) You've never heard of...?
X: (Feigns ignorance) Nope.
G: For Gaia's sake, it's tradition...uh, Amazon tradition!
X: Since when?
G: Since...since Ephiny said so?
X: I think she's blowing wind up your skirt.
G: Um, she showed me a..a scroll—
X: Are you sure she wasn't showing you one of her Sappho scrolls?
G: Xena, over the years, spanking has fallen out of practice. As Amazon queen, I want to bring back some of the old traditions.
X: You know, some traditions fall out of favor for a reason.
G: Look, I don't know why the Amazons stopped spanking one another.
X: (Gives a snort of laughter) Now there's a mystery worth solving.
G: C'mon, I want to try it. It sounds like fun.
X: (Pretends to have reservations) Well...
G: Now, Xena, you wouldn't turn down a request from the Amazon queen, would you?
X: Oh, I suppose not.
G: (Lets out an excited whoop)
X: But we do it my way.
G: Xena, it's my birthday. Why should we do it your way?
X: Trust me. You'll like it. (Smirks)
G: Fine. What do you have in mind?
X: (Looks at the handcuffs lying nearby on the table and then back at Gabrielle)
G: Huh?
X: (Jerks her head in the direction of the handcuffs to put a finer point on her meaning)
G: What? Why are you twitching?
X: (Leans across the table and whispers in Gabrielle's ear)
G: Ohhhh... (Her cheeks flush, and her eyes glaze over)
X: (Smirks)
G: (Jumps up, grabs Xena's hand and the pair of handcuffs) C'mon, let's go bruise some fruit.