Love's Rendition
Part 10
by Tragedy88
E-Mail: Tragedy88@goplay.com
Disclaimers: See
Part 1.
I
wanted to capture her soul in the painting.
It’s what sets apart the good from the great.
She was insistent upon simple, and
in front of that damn trellis.
So…. I went with the stupid
trellis, and it still didn’t feel right.
I didn’t want to lose the 5,000 dollars. It was becoming more and more important as my work hours were cut
because of the painful, wrenching spasms my back constantly went into.
Something was seriously wrong, but I
hid it like I always did.
With shorter work hours I was able
to get in more painting time, as well as sketching time, in the evening. I’ve got to say that I liked the sketch a
whole hell of a lot better then the painting.
But what did I know?
That first week Thom would
occasionally come and visit. He'd sit
in a chair behind me, and we'd chat about things from animals to war. Though Allison barely participated in the
conversations, I was well aware she was listening and absorbing everything I
said.
•••
It
was Friday, and tomorrow the gallery would open with Thom’s collection.
I was in Allison’s library, working
on basic layering for the trellis' shadows and highlights now that the sun had
set. She had left, again, to do last
minute things for the show.
How long had I been painting? A twinge in my back warned me that it had
been far too long since I’d gotten up to stretch or be sick in the
bathroom. It was like that now, almost
as if nothing was wrong, or at least until I got up. Then the pain would come without warning, and I would collapse on
the floor or hurry to the bathroom. I
never knew when or how hard the pain would come.
I stood up slowly, but it didn’t
help. A searing pain raced up my right
side, numbing my arm and sending little black and white stars twirling around
my head.
So far I’d been lucky to avoid the
staff, and especially Allison when this happened, but not this time.
“Miss Grace?!” Vella cried.
A part of me heard her, the other
part just gasped and continued falling.
“Grace? Are you all right?”
Vella’s hurried steps carried her to a table where she set down her
basket of laundry and knelt by my side.
Her hand touched my back. “Miss Grace? Please. Are you okay?”
“Fine, Vella. Just…got dizzy. Got up too fast.” I was
breathing too hard, trying to focus around the pain. Oh God, it hurt so bad.
“Maybe you lay down? Yes?”
“Fine….” I gasped as a fresh jolt of pain surged up my back and raced
through my right arm, making it totally useless. Vella caught my shoulder and pulled me up and to the couch. Who knew such a small woman was so strong?
“Get Miss Allison? Or should I call doctor?”
I saw her wide brown eyes staring
down at me. Shit, she was
terrified. So was I. “No, Vella.
I’m ok. Really. Just got dizzy.” I smiled at her even as I clutched my arm to make sure it was
still there. “I’ll just sit and rest
for a minute, okay?”
She studied me for a long moment,
then nodded. “I’ll make tea.”
No, thank you. But I nodded yes and smiled sweetly. As soon as she left I let my breath hiss
through my teeth. Fuckfuckfuckfuck… The
couch cushion felt like a rock behind my head, my back was spasming, and I
still couldn’t feel anything but a dull tingling in my right arm.
Go to a doctor, stupid, my mind
screamed.
With what? Medical insurance? I
didn’t have any, never did, never would.
The pain would go away. It
always did. I was just working too
hard. Pushing myself more then
usual. While Allison does her show
tomorrow I’ll sleep all day. That’s all
I need. A little sleep. I closed my eyes and let my body relax.
•••
Vella
had said Grace was sick. Allison kept
her pace as casual as possible as her heart raced her down the hall. There she was, lying on the couch. Her face was pale, and seemed thinner
somehow since they’d met.
Allison stopped abruptly a few feet
from the couch. There was a cup of
tea on the end table, cold now, and untouched.
She moved a little closer and knelt beside the couch. Grace was asleep, her left hand cradling her
right elbow and her knees drawn up close to her chest.
She sensed someone behind her and
turned to find Vella at the door.
“She’s asleep, ma’am,” Vella whispered.
“Get me a blanket.” Allison turned back to Grace. She
seems so young, but I know she’s not. I
know more about you, Grace. I did some
checking after the York bridge. Seems
you’ve been an orphan for a long time now.
Your sister is God knows where, and both your brothers are dead. You’ve led a sad life.
Her hand stretched forward and
gently brushed Grace’s hair behind her ear.
Vella came back with a blanket and
Allison took it, gently laying it over the young woman. She stood back and watched her a moment
longer. Grace turned, mumbled
something and settled back down.
“No one bothers her,” Allison commanded. She left and Vella turned off the lights and shut the door behind
them.
•••
“Jo,” he called to me. “Jo, you need to come here and participate.”
I don’t think so.
I stayed on the windowsill in my
small room. I liked it here, even if
there was no door on the room and I could hear and see them all.
The sun was on my face and I could
pretend I was outside, even though I was trapped in here.
Here…. You still can’t admit it, can you? You don’t even want to….
“Jo!” he yelled.
Damn. I felt two
rough hands grab my arms and pull me out of the room. My anger was slow to come and by the time they’d thrown me into a
chair in the circle, in the main meeting room, my fists were just beginning to
clench.
“When I tell you to come here, Jo, I mean it.”
I looked at him with rage flowing through my veins. “Fuck you.”
Then I smiled sweetly, which really pissed him off.
“Don’t swear,” he said between clenched teeth.
I stood up and began to walk away.
“Jo, come back here.
Now!”
When I didn’t come back they grabbed my arms and hauled
me to Isolation. Fine by me. He couldn’t yell at me there, or try to make
me do things.
Some time later they came by with meds. There were no windows to tell if it was
light or dark, so I sat on the floor with my knees pulled up to my chest.
Someone called 'lights out', but still I sat on the
floor. Next bedcheck I knew they’d
write it down. They wrote it all
down. At least I’d been smart enough
not to give them my real name. How
could they check? After all I’d just
been one of hundreds of indigents. One
of the crazies that had been caught that day.
Never again, I promised myself. Things would be different when they let me out.
•••
(c) 2000, Tragedy88