Love's Rendition

Part 13

by Tragedy88

 

 

E-Mail: Tragedy88@goplay.com

 

 

Disclaimers:  See Part 1.

 

 

Chapter Thirteen

 

The good thing about painting was that I could watch Allison, but not for the reasons she thought.  She looked good this morning.  Very good.  A few more lines, a couple more shadows and the painting would be finished.  So would Allison and I.  My throat tightened and I swallowed against it.  Don't be foolish.  I was little more then a client to her.

            My hand shook over the canvas.

 

•••

 

Allison watched Grace carefully.  She was shaking.  Everytime she’d said something before Grace had just brushed her off.  Was she sick?  Should she even bother to ask?

            “Want to take a small break?” Allison asked gently.

            Grace looked up and their eyes met.  She hesitated.  “Sure, I guess.”  But she didn’t get up from the stool.  Her lower lip twitched and it looked like she was about to say something.

            “Care to join me in the library for a drink?”  Allison asked.

            “I’ll be right behind you.”

            But when Allison paused and glanced back around the corner Grace was only starting to get off the stool.  She watched with wide eyes as Grace collapsed and brought the stool crashing to the brick patio.  Without hesitation she rushed to Grace’s side.

 

•••

 

“I’m fine,” I said as soon as I felt a hand on my arm tugging me to my feet.  “Just tripped.”

            “Don’t lie to me anymore, Grace.”

            Startled, I looked up into Allison’s brilliant eyes.  This was not something I could hide, and certainly not from someone as intelligent as Alli.  I should have realized that.

            “Back strain,” I finally said, after Alli had righted the stool and I stood, painfully gripping the edges.  Her hand rested on my back.

            “Here?” she asked, and gently rubbed her palm in a circle.

            I grimaced and nodded.

            “Here?”

            I nodded again.

            “Why don’t you come sit down and relax?  I’ll see if I can find some pain relievers-“

            “No, Alli, it’ll be ok.”  I looked at her in time to see her doubtful look.  “Okay, relaxing would be good.”

 

•••

 

For such a stiff looking lounge it was really comfortable.  I sank down into it and waited till Allison brought a glass of water and some Motrin.

            “Anytime you want to take a break just say so, Grace.”  She sat down beside me.  Her hand stretched out then dropped to her side.  “I’d understand.”

            I shrugged.  “So’k.  Sometimes it’s better just sitting still.”

            “It’s hurt for awhile now?”

            What would it hurt to tell her the truth?  There was nothing she could do.  “It started about a year ago.”  I was looking at my hands and nearly missed her startled expression.  “It’ll go away.”

            “A year, Grace?  You should really see a doctor.”  She took the glass from my hand and set it on a coaster on the coffee table.

            “I went to the walk in clinic.  They said it was stress and that I should take a vacation.”

            She made a 'phffhting' sound and I looked at her curiously.

            “You should go to a real doctor.”

            Immediately my hackles went up.  “I saw a real doctor.”

            “I didn’t mean-“

            “I know what you meant.”  My lips trembled and my hands shook again as I looked back down.  Her warm, gentle fingers touched my chin and turned my face to look at her.  A whole new kind of tingle chased through my body as her eyes captured mine.

            “If it’s a question of mon-“

            “Don’t even go there,” I whispered, anger gone and fear suddenly replacing it.

            Her eyes drew away from mine and her hand dropped away.  “I only meant I could advance your pay-“

            “You’ve already advanced it.  There’s nothing left.”  This time I looked her square in the eye.  “All the stuff you’ve gotten for me, and done for me…there’s nothing left.”

            “No.  That was my money.  We agreed on the dress, and that’s it, remember?”

            I shook my head.

            “Grace.”

            God, how her voice still sent a chill through me.

            “Are you cold?”

            “No.”

            “There’s something else, isn’t there?”  Her hand rested on my shoulder.

            No more lies.  No more secrets, I told myself.  “I–Will you go with me?” I asked uncertainly instead.

            Quietly she turned and picked up a portable phone off the end table.  She punched in a number and handed me the phone.  It rang a couple times before a pleasant voice said, “Hello, Doctor James' office.  May I help you?”

            After a deep breath and a reassuring pat from Allison I set up an appointment for Monday morning.  Now there would be nothing left from my paycheck.  I’d probably end up owing the hospital a few thousand dollars.

 

•••

 

“Here?”  Ed turned briefly to glance at me as I slumped in the passenger seat.  “Not your apartment?  It’s awfully dangerous-“

            “Here,” I said firmly.  The limo pulled to a stop under the lip of the bridge and I got out.  “Can you pick me up here Monday?”

            Ed’s mouth opened and closed before he nodded silently.  “And if Ms. Parker should ask?"

            “Tell her….”  No secrets, no lies.  “Tell her I moved out of the apartment.”

            As the limo pulled away I stood watching the tail lights disappear, before I looked for the Professor.  He was in the same place he always was and looked up as I approached.

            "Hey," he mumbled.

            "Hey, Professor," I said, then sat as he gestured to his little fire and the spot next to him.  I crossed my legs and silently regarded him.  He'd been a professor at one time, years of college, and more years of teaching.  I once asked what had happened to him and he'd explained that all the little chraa's in the world had fucked him over.  I'd thought him completely crazy then, till I found out what the word meant.  And, found out that he knew hundreds of other curses.  My favorites had been the Arabic ones, since the syllables crashed together and the words sounded ten times tougher then what they actually meant.

            "So, how's life?" I asked.

            "Same old.  You?"  He turned dull eyes on me.  The years had taken their toll on him.

            I shrugged.  "Same old."  My arm twitched as a knot of pain traveled to my shoulder.

            "You should have that looked at," he commented.

            "Yeah," was all I said.  It had always been like that between us.  He'd grown into the father figure I'd lost, and I loved him.  I'd even gone so far as to go back for him, and offer him a place in my new home.  He'd refused, no matter how much I pleaded with him.  I hadn't understood till now.

            He'd given up.

            "Can I ask you something?"

            "Sure."  He pushed another stick into the fire, watching as it shot up momentarily, then died back down.

            "If someone gave you everything you needed- money, clothes, uh food and stuff.... What would you do?"  I watched him intently.

            "Question the motive, my girl."

            "Motive," I said, but it wasn't a question, as I rolled the word around my mind.

            "What do they get from giving you everything?" he asked.

            "Nothing," I replied.  "I don't think I have anything to give them."

            "Then there is your answer."

            "I don't understand."  I wrapped my arms around my body, beginning to tremble as the brisk air picked up, and screamed beneath the bridge.  He retrieved a blanket from somewhere behind him and handed it to me.  Gratefully I wrapped it around my shoulders, thanking him.

            "Welcome."  He paused, and I could see some flash of life in his eyes.  But then maybe it was just a reflection from the fire.  "A gift given freely- whether it's money or food- is the greatest gift of all.  If it's given with no strings attached and nothing required in return then it's from the heart."

            "But, how will I know?" I asked.

            He smiled.  "When you have something to give in return."

            We returned to silence, as I thought long and hard about what he'd said.  I knew I had nothing to give to Allison.  So, what could she possibly want from me?

 

•••

 

(c) 2000, Tragedy88

 

 

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