Love's Rendition
Part 15
by Tragedy88
E-Mail: Tragedy88@goplay.com
Disclaimers: See
Part 1.
Chapter
Fifteen
A
slipped disk, pinched nerves, something, something, something... Too much information. All the technical terms fell away as I
realized Allison’s hand was still in mine.
I studied her profile as she followed Daniel’s every word.
“And that brings us to the good
news. There are medicines for the pain,
and after surgery you’ll be almost as good as new.”
“Surgery?” I looked away from Allison and abruptly fastened my stunned gaze
on Daniel. “Almost good as new?”
“Ok, not good news…but not the worst
news you’ve heard all day. The surgery
is a relatively simple procedure, but with certain risks. We’ll be able to repair all the damage
except for the deadened nerves.”
“And the risks?” I asked hoarsely.
“As with any surgery there are risks. But we’re working with the spine here and
any misstep could lead to more damage or paralysis. My team is the best team you’ll find anywhere on the East Coast. So there’s no need to worry.”
“I’ll decide when to worry.” I pulled away from Allison and lurched
painfully up out of the bed. As I
ripped the iv from my wrist they tried to stop me. “I don’t need this. I’ll
be fine.” I pushed them away and
staggered down the hall.
Allison caught up to me and grabbed
my shoulder. “Grace, you can’t leave. Haven’t you heard anything Daniel said in
there?”
“I heard him.”
“It’s
routine surgery, darlin’, you’re momma will be out and awake in no time.”
I felt the tears threatening as I
stood face to face with Allison in that quiet hallway. We seemed to stand that way for an eternity
before either of us moved. Suddenly she
was opening her arms and I was leaning forward and holding on for dear life.
“It’s gonna be okay.”
I didn’t say anything as I stood in
the warmth of her arms and felt her heart beating against my ear.
“It’s gonna be okay.”
•••
She seems so small. So fragile.
What the hell do I do now? Allison didn’t have to wait long to find out
when Grace suddenly pulled away.
“Sorry,” Grace murmured.
“What’s there to be sorry
about?” Allison asked. Come
back here. Let me hold you and take
away that pain I see in your eyes.
“Just didn’t mean to fall apart on
you like that,” Grace said.
You
can fall apart on me anytime. “It’s
ok. Want to talk about it?”
“Nah-“ Grace paused and met Allison’s
eyes. “I–my mom…. She went into surgery and never came
out. Guess I just sorta panicked.”
“I’m sorry, Grace.” Allison watched her shrug it away. I bet
she’s done that all her life. Shrug
everyone and everything away.
“Daniel’s not just my friend you know, he’s the best damn doctor in the
US. He’s egotistical as hell about it,
but he is. And he knows I’d kill him if
anything ever happened to you.”
Grace blinked. “You would?”
Allison nodded, slightly embarrassed
that she’d rambled. She realized it was
probably the most she’d ever said to Grace in one sitting. “Absolutely. What are friends for?
Right?”
“Right.” Grace smiled shyly.
“Come on, I think Daniel’s waiting
for us.”
•••
We
discussed the pros and cons, the ups and downs and lefts and rights till my
head was spinning and it was all I could do not to scream at them all to just
go away. Finally they did and Allison
and I were the only ones left in the room.
A nurse had brought a platter of food and I ate it selfconciously.
“Guess I’m staying the night,” I
said between mouthfuls of green beans and something I supposed was meatloaf.
“Yeah. Is there anything you want me to pick up from your
apartment?” Allison asked.
I gave her a blank, startled look.
“Clothes? Books? Stuff like that?”
she prompted.
“N-nothing, thanks.” I shoveled in more potatoes so I wouldn’t
have to look at her.
“Grace?”
The fork froze over my green beans
at the tone of her voice. Slowly I
turned to look at her. “What?”
“You know you can tell me anything,
right?” Allison asked softly.
I nodded silently.
“Then why didn’t you tell me Ed's
dropped you off at York the past few days?
Or that you’d lost your job. I
checked-“
“You checked up on me?” I asked
incredulously.
“You left me no choice, Grace. I knew something was wrong so I called-“
“What the hell, Alli? What do you care?” Silence descended so heavily that I could feel it, and feel the
hurt my words had caused. I pushed my
food away and turned to stare out the window.
Allison sighed. “Everyone says I'm a cold hearted
bitch.” She was quiet a moment. “You think so too, don't you? Nevermind, don't answer that. I care, Grace. I really do. So I can’t
show it like other people do, like you do….”
When her voice trailed off I turned
to her quizzically. “Like I do?”
“The picture,” she said simply.
My eyebrows bunched together and I
just stared at her.
From the inside pocket of her blazer
she pulled out a folded piece of paper.
Slowly she unfolded it and turned it so I could see it. A copy of my sketch stared back at me. The one I’d done on impulse, with Allison
leaning over, hair cascading down and tangling with the rose she held in her
hand.
Of course there hadn’t been a rose,
nor had there been a wild landscape of mountains and trees anywhere
nearby. When I didn’t say anything she
folded it back up and put it away.
“No one sees me like that,” she
whispered. “Just you. I thought….
Well, I don’t know what I thought.”
Her hands where clenched tight in her lap. “But, then you are an
artist and maybe that’s just how you see a lot of things,” she finished
resignedly.
“No,” I said quietly. “From the first time I saw you…it’s how I’ve
always thought of you…as someone different.”
She didn’t say anything and didn’t look at me. “Why do you have a copy of it?
It’s not even finished.”
“I like it.” Now she looked up. “Will you finish it for me?”
I blinked several times before I
nodded. “It’s in my port- Oh God,
where’s my portfolio?” I asked, suddenly panicked.
A slight smile touched her
face. “It’s in the car, don’t
worry. So, will you finish the sketch?”
“I already did.”
“You did?” Allison asked, with raised eyebrows.
I just nodded and smiled
slightly. “I was going to paint it.”
“Was?”
“I haven’t had the time. No, that’s not true. I just can’t,” I admitted.
“Why not?” Allison reached over and took my hand.
I could feel it shaking and held it
tightly with mine. “I had to throw my
paints away because there was no room for them in the station locker.” With my other hand I took out the key. “I didn’t want you to know- “ God, this was
harder then I’d thought. “I didn’t
want…. I’m not staying in the apartment
anymore.”
“Are you in a shelter?” Allison asked
softly.
I shook my head. “I was sleeping under the bridge.”
“It’s winter, Grace. You must have been freezing.”
“It wasn’t so bad,” I admitted. “I’ve been through worse.”
“Tell me about it?” Allison asked. Her hand tightened around mine. It was warm and reassuring and I felt my
eyes beginning to water. I sniffled lightly
and clutched the key tightly in my other hand.
“Not right now,” I whispered.
Allison nodded and we were both silent
for a moment. Then she said, “You could
have come to me.”
“I didn’t know that.” Now I wasn’t so sure I’d be able to stop the
tears and I continued on before she could say anything else. “And I didn’t want to. I work for you. It wouldn’t be right.”
“Grace, I want to be your friend. You can count on friends, right?”
I nodded wordlessly as tears began to
roll down my cheeks.
“I’ll be the best friend you’ve ever had,
Grace,” Allison whispered. “I’ll take
care of you.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t ask. I want to.”
Allison rose from the chair, her hand never leaving mine, and sat on the
edge of the bed.
My tears came hard and fast as she laid
her other hand on my cheek and wiped away my tears with her thumb. My heart skipped a beat and I think I
stopped breathing.
“Come here,” she whispered. That was all I needed and I
found myself once again in her arms.
“Friends?” she asked.
“Friends,” I said quietly. Allison smelled faintly of lilac perfume and
soap.
We stayed that way, in each other's arms,
for a long time. Probably a lot longer
then necessary because I’d already stopped crying and was just selfishly
enjoying her warmth.
It’d been so long since someone touched
me. I don’t mean sex, though it’s been
a long time for that too. My father
never hugged us, mother was too busy and I never developed the kind of
relationships that warranted this…this silent reassurance that I was human and
deserved to be loved.
I wondered if Allison felt the same way.
When I started to pull away, embarrassed
and self-concious, Allison’s arms tightened around me.
•••
I
slept well that night. I had a warm bed, my belly was full and Allison had
promised to be back early in the morning.
No dreams either.
In the morning I ate all the
breakfast I was given. Daniel came by
to say that his team of doctors would be by later and I could meet them and ask
them any questions I might have.
All questions I might have had flew
out of my brain the second Allison stepped through the doorway. Oh yeah, I could definitely get used to
seeing that every morning.
“Looks like you’re in a good mood
this morning,” she said with a grin of her own.
“Not bad,” I admitted. “So, what’s on your schedule for today?”
“Nada.” She smiled. “You’ve got
me all day.”
Oh…don’t go there. When I didn’t say anything I watched her
grin turn lopsided. I chuckled
softly. “Well, if I’ve got you all day
I’d better think of something for you to do.”
She raised a brash eyebrow. “How about some coffee then?”
“Sure.” Not quite what I had in mind, but it would do. For now.
•••
(c) 2000, Tragedy88