This little wry little piece of humour has popped up here and there on the web over the last couple of years. It is directly due to a challenge on the S.O.S. http://www.northco.net/sos/ to produce, shall be say, 'Juicy' short fanfic for 'Hump Day' (Wednesday). Then RocfanKat posted it as one of her 'Hump Day' specials. God knows where it has popped up since but now it has a permanent home at my site. Yes it is M&J uber, you just have to squint really hard to catch it. Thanks to all the gals (and guys) at the SOS, Kat, Lyraine, Trish, John, and anyone else that let me know that this didn't suck. *This is for anyone who has had their lover call them at work.
The Poll Taker By Rocky
Ring… Ring… Ring…
Hello?
Hi, It's me…
Oh, Hello how are you?
Are you alone?
Umm… No, not quite.
Ah, Heh heh, I see… Do you miss me?
Well yes, It's always nice to hear from you people.
Who am I this time hmm… let's see. …I'm the caterer, maybe.
No maybe not.
Okay, I'm a poll taker, how's that?
Yes that would do nicely; I do have the time to talk. It's always nice to have my opinions known.
Good… I miss you. Do you miss me?
Oh yes, I do some charity work, in fact I read to the elderly every Wednesday night.
Oh baby I'm not that much older than you (chuckle) what are going to read to me hmm… Something trashy I hope.
I do it as often as I am able. I care about my community.
Did you get the little present I sent you?
Yes thank you.
It makes crazy just thinking about you wearing them, are you wearing them now?
Yes I'm quite comfortable with them.
I can't wait to see you wearing nothing but them, so I can remove them slowly… using nothing but my teeth.
Ahem! You must excuse me; something caught in my throat.
God! Even your coughing sounds sexy. I need you so bad.
Yes… We must all do our part to help the needy.
You sound like you need me too. Need me to touch you, pet you, scratch that itch.
I think that sometimes we forget that we may need help in the future as well.
You want to touch me too?
Yes, you have the right idea there.
I ache for you touch. No one has ever excited me like you do.
I am very much in favor of the project.
You are my personal project… My ambition is to make you scream out my name as many times as possible.
It is an ambitious project, I do say.
Would you like to know how I'm going to do this… or would you like me to surprise you?
No, no surprises there.
I can just see you there; all calm cool and collected while I whisper dirty nothings in your ear. I can already taste that first kiss we're going to share.
Yes I can see how sharing the costs would be beneficial.
Will you undress slowly for me? A little show… a strip tease complete with the bump and grind.
I think slowly at first is the best solution, but additions should cost more depending on who requires the most attention.
Oh yeah, you can undress me too, my skin is tingling just thinking of your touch.
Yes I like to give anything I'm involved in my personal attention.
Can you tell me where you'd like to touch me?
Let me tell you I'd like very much to get abreast of the problem.
Oh god you're killing me! Are you getting as hot and bothered as I am?
How can anyone help but feel that way.
I am going to taste every inch of you, from your toes to the top of your head and I plan to spend a long time in between.
Ahem, there goes my throat again. You'll have to forgive me I tend to get emotional over issues that I really care about.
I want to make you wet and suck you dry… (Snicker) Are you squirming yet?
Yes most definitely!
Oh baby! I love you, you do know that don't you?
I assure you that the feeling is very mutual.
Um… Jan, would now be a good time to tell you that my flight was early and I'm waiting in the lobby?
Oh my look at the time! I've just remembered a prior appointment. Have I answered all your questions?
I'll be waiting by the door.
Ah well, thank you for calling. I do have to go and read to the elderly, it is Wednesday you know. Good bye.
Click! (The sound of hurried feet and the slamming of an office door)
…Fin.
(c) 1999 S. Day